Zeal for Life

ain't nobody got a zeal for life like these go-getters i know,
i'm fucking fine being complacent with this place im in,
low budget, life off of snacks stuck on these muni and bart tracks,
not too far from where i am headed, the bus i ride on never becomes dead ended,
stupid shit so soft, like a prosthetic titty,
i am done with being smart, being human, being witty,
just wanna curl up in a ball & die,
not because, as i would say, no-one loves me,

its because people do, and i hate that shit,

they love a person who doesnt do anything,
and when i mean anything i mean make him self into something,
and when i mean something i mean be an average person with a degree,
pays taxes, and is stable on his own two feet.

buys everything with own dough,
from clothes & shoes
to movies and shit he eats,

everyone does that,

i am living like this to be anti-trendy?
but being anti-trendy is catch 22,

i read that off of the slap magazine forums,

filled a bunch for skateboarding 30 somethings,
stuck at their computer screens, post-mortem,

an exquisite way of saying that's how they deal with boredom,

but i'm boring, i was born like that, so my speech repetitive,
and reflexes sloth-like

the amount of self hate i have monolithic,

it's like mount Olympus of loathing,

the only time i like myself
is when i'm with women in good clothing,

but shit like only happens with relatives,

so with strange girl,
it's mostly just hoping,

miss an old lady,
a distant relative,
lola joving,

no i'm not joking,

it's like pronouncing HO-ving,

HOV of her family,

frail fragile anatomy,

i'm so redundant,

professors always mad at me,

the way i wreck ledges,
i should charged for multiple batteries,

enough energy to light up a whole house,